Valentine's Day- flowers and candy and cards aren't the gifts that are important

An open letter about relationships and Valentine's Day

Good morning all-
 My husband made it home last night, (for those who do not know, he is a long haul truck driver) he's got a delivery to make this morning then he will be back. This will be the first Valentine's Day we've been together in a while. He told me last night he started to order flowers for me but remembered I don't care for cut flowers, I prefer something I can put in the ground and see again and again. Besides, his just being home is special enough.
 Last night when my son and I had to make a run to wally world, even in our hurry I couldn't help but notice some things.

 The packed parking area as we arrived.
The crowd around the jewelry counter, in places they were packed back three and four deep waiting their turn.
 The emptied card racks.
 The multitude of guys purchasing stuffed animals and flowers.

 Flowers that would normally cost less, nearly doubled in price for this one day.
 Folks almost frantically hurrying around looking for what ever was left that will be suitably special for today.

Really?

Do we really need to go overboard on this one day to try and -prove- our love for another? Does a flower arrangement and box of candy on one day mean all that much? For the young, or not so young, why do we allow retailers to do this to us? Consider this if you will..

Talk with each other, respectfully. Conversations are amazing things when done properly. A sharing of thoughts and ideas that show you appreciate the other person's point of view, their ideas and concerns. Do not, laugh at, or belittle the other person's thoughts and ideas no matter how far off from yours they may be. Try and see their perspective. Listen to the hopes and dreams they may have and try and understand what they mean to that person. If you see them working toward achieving that dream, help them by encouraging and supporting them in ways they need.

Spend time with each other. Yes, that does mean putting electronic devices away for a time. It does mean that when you hear that notification sound that you have a message, you ignore it. It means doing things together. Take a walk, go window shopping, go to an event, go to dinner, just go and be with the person you are with, not with someone on the other end of a phone. Sit at home and watch a movie, watch the sunset or sun rise, play an old fashioned board game. Sit, and snuggle, and enjoy the moment.

Do something for the other. Load the dishwasher, fold a load of towels, (take time to learn the preferred way your significant other wants it done and do it that way). Go outside and take care of a chore that the other hates, if you are physically able, don't hurt yourself, that would accomplish nothing. Prepare a meal, or a drink for the other. If they are looking for something, a misplaced hat, glasses, paperwork, what ever.. help find it- with out or with as little complaining as possible.

Take care of them if they get sick, whether it is a head cold or cancer. Let them know you are there, no matter what they need, from tissue to some one to hold them and let them cry out their fears and pain. Let them know you will always be there- and mean it.

Its the every day acts that really count. Its the showing of respect and love that count. Its the being there for the day to day that counts. A sixty dollar bunch of roses will fade and die. A piece of jewelry will lose its shine over time. Stuffed animals and cards will wear and end up tossed away. But a real love, even as it ages- especially as it ages- will grow stronger. The signs of wear and tear on those involved, will be marks of beauty, badges of courage and endurance. The tattered edges showing that you went through a storm and came out stronger, better, still and more in love. 

 Its the day to day talking it out and coming to an understanding.

 Its the acceptance that the other person has quirks and idiosyncrasies that make them special and worth the trials and troubles that come with any relationship. 

 It isn't a one day thing, it is a life time adventure.